’”“Okay.”“What do you feel?”“Internal. A place to take in. And a place to keep guard. Other things ... find who to guard against and who to ... accept in.“Good. Now imagine being male.”She tightens. “I have only seen one example of a man’s ... maleness, and...”“But there’s someone sometime you might allow in, because you want his seed in order to grow a child.”“The asshole changed that.”“But before...”“Yes. In fact it let my guard down.”“Imagine a man who you could trust. Who you could embrace without worry.”“Grandfather.”“Good. Not at all sexual, is it, as far as a threat. Just his gender.”“Yes.”“Imagine that thing that had been a terrible thing to be a good thing because it helped bless you with your mother.”“Yes.”“Imagine you are him, a man. No longer female. Different parts.”“It changes ... direction. Everything outward.”“You can imagine it. It isn’t completely foreigner.”“And yet it’s so different.”“But you are of him. You have understanding. Your grandfather gave you. His accommodation was with Vice Admiral Ralph Manning who spent a lot of his time in the City as well as sittings with the war cabinet, and so he frequently stopped the night at his club. Tony found that he rather liked the Admiral and thought him quite a charming eccentric although it was obvious that he had a major drink problem. He was an affable charming man with a keen brain and a progressive drink problem, and he was fairly easy to get on with...On arriving at the Admirals house which was just outside the City in an area which was largely residential, and therefore had so far been largely ignored by the Luftwaffe. Tony was greeted by his very attractive wife. To his surprise Her Ladyship was only about 37 years old and was still a very attractive woman and looked much younger than her real age. On his arrival she said "Look Tony lets not stand on ceremony at home just call me Rose, and we will get along famously!"Tony later found that she also had an eighteen year old daughter.
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